Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
