I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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