will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
