sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Randomize
