my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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