i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
This toilet bowl is my home.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
