Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
not ubering you a puppy
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
