shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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