this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
