Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
