sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
