Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
