So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
