Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want to make out with him forever
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
