Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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