THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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