Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize