Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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