I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Screwed.edu
only you would photoshop your dick
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
