somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
