carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
