I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
