how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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