I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
How external is "for external use only"?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize