There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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