We won't sleep together?
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
