I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
