that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just gift wrapped bread.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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