If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
