She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Couch. On fire.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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