didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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