whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
