I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
