People with herpes should wear stickers.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
