Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
