GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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