You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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