I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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