ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
