My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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