ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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