Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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