I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
