I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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