I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
