tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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