I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
