'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
