i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
