can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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