can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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