I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
