3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
