maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
