Well apparently he's into motor boating.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
