I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize