We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize