And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
