You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
