just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
