see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
