So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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