gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize